I Wish I Could Fly
by TheOddOne
Summary: A sleepless night, and Dib starts thinking.
1. Default Chapter

I stare at my ceiling, wide awake as my clock reads 1 a.m. Another sleepless night. I try counting sheep, but they all just seem to fly out the window…the window. I climb out of my bed and open a dull, standard window. I look straight, trying not to look down. If I do, something might push me…relax. I'm trying to relax, but I can't seem to shut up these thoughts in my head, and I can't stop my legs as they lead me out my window, to the roof, still trying not to look down.  
  
I lie on the cold, hard shingles of my roof, just staring at the sky, and closing my eyes to stare at the darkness in my head. I pretend I'm not up here. Such secular beings we are! Such sad and pointless lives…but I try not to think about such dismal things. They're more for my sister, too cliché for me, really. I sit up, and sigh. I'm probably not going to get to sleep tonight. So many questions are running through my head, but the answers remain silent. Those dreary thoughts start coming to my head again, and seem to lead me to the edge of the roof, and I stand.  
  
I wish I could fly…a wistful thought. I close my eyes, and strech my arms out to the side, as thought I were flying. I'd like to try. But what if I fall? I consider this. What's keeping me here, anyway? Zim? He's been my reason for many things, but I don't know about this. It all seems like a childish game now, even though it's only been two years. I'm thirteen now, and everything that meant so much to me before, seems very pointless.  
  
Mother…I close my eyes tighter, trying to shut out the memories that come with thinking of her. But I smile anyway. I think about flying again. "If I try, would you catch me, if I fall?" I whisper softly. Dad told me that she's an angel now, in heaven. I don't know if I believe in things like heaven. If there is a god who watches over us, wouldn't he be sad? Someone who loves everyone would be sad all the time. I don't know if I can believe anything has that much love.  
  
Lost in thought, I loose my balance and my foot slips off the edge. My eyes open suddenly and I let out a yell in panic. I shift my weight backwards, and fall hard on the roof. I let out a sigh of relief, but looking at the ground makes me feel dizzy, and wonder just how unintentional that slip was. Frightened of jumping…if I'm too afraid, I'll never fly, only fall. "Mother….will you catch me, when I fall?"  
  
I climb back into my room, silent, unwelcome tears streaking down my face. I climb into bed and await the rest of this long, sleepless night, too afraid to keep living in case I fall. 


	2. Just For Tonight

The same night, only from Zim's point of view, spying on Dib. Kinda cheesy, but sweet. Zim is finding life a little boring, and a little too long…  
  
  
  
Staring out my telescope from my lab, I am bored. It's too late. Or maybe it's too early. Either way, I cannot sleep, and I do not care. It has been too many years for me to care. I have not, however, been on earth for many years, and my conquest is still at a standstill. I have not reported back to the Tallests for many days, finding less and less to report. It has almost seemed a tedious, pointless mission as the days suck me further and further into the gloomy vortex of this miserable planet. Almost.  
  
Out my telescope, I can see far, to my enemy's house. Dib. While there is little point in spying, there is nothing else to do. It grows boring as well, and I begin to look away, when a pinprick of movement catches my eye. I snap back , to see one of the windows open. Out he comes, onto his roof. His movement is stiff and deliberate, and then he just lies there. What could he possibly be doing? I zoom in closer. His eyes open slightly as he sits up, and scoots over to the edge of the roof. There, he stands. He stretches his arms out, as though he were going to jump off a ship in evacuation. The wind blows his hair to the side, which has grown several inches in the past few years, making it look unkempt and wild. His pale skin seems to glow in the moonlight. His eyes close, and a wistful look softens his hard features. He looks…fragile. Young. A strange thing to me, foreign. A faint smile plays on his lips, thought his eyes close tighter. Seconds later, his foot slips. I find myself letting out a small cry-these humans cannot fly, wouldn't he be-? But he falls backwards instead, eyes wide, and panting. His face suddenly turns sad again, and longing. Stiffly, he climbs back into the window he came out from, and shuts it.  
  
I turn away slowly, shaking a little. Shaking? I cannot remember the last time I shook. I'm not sure what to think of it. I feel something strange inside at the thought of him, standing there like a glass statue about to break itself. I have seen…little like it. My insides churn, and it is a bit painful. Yet, it makes me want to…go to bed. Sleep. Just…continue. It revives something in me, and I think about it. Though I will again tomorrow and ever after be his hating and hated enemy, tonight…I think I love…  
  
I break the thought short at the absurdity of the idea. Though, tomorrow, I think with a smile, I believe I will pay the Tallest a call… 


	3. A World Worth Saving

Yet another part. (^^ ish on writing spree) This switches points of veiw from Zim and Dib, but I will distuguish who is talking throughout the story. It starts out the same night as the previous chapters.  
  
(Zim)  
  
You told me that night that this isn't a world worth saving. I can still make out the outline of your body, standing against the moonlight, fragile, almost unreal. I can still remember the wistful look on your face, the look that drew me to your house that night. You didn't want to see me there, hair still tousled from the wind and your defences down. But I came in anyway. You were so beautiful out there on your roof, and somehow you remained that way, even with your indignant glare that you gave me as I let myself in to your house. In a way, I think it was your fault I came to your door that night.  
  
I had never been able to get a good look at your house before. I looked around in awe for quite some time, all the while you protesting my being there. Eventually, you gave up and invited me to sit down. We sat in silence for a while. You wouldn't look at me. Then you asked me why I was in your house so late at night. I asked you in return why you were on your roof. Your head snapped up suddenly. "You saw," was your simple responce. The expression on your face made it seem like I had unwantedly invaded  
  
a part of you. Still not looking at me, you asked why I was watching you anyway. I didn't say a thing. How could I? So we sat there. You started to cry. It shocked me, but I held you. I held you until I could see nothing else, and I said you were beautiful. I think…that you were right about the world.  
  
(Dib)  
  
I told you that this wasn't a world worth saving. Well? Do you belive me? Or do you still believe, like a fool, that humans are innately good? Did you ever? I do. I remember that cold night, on the roof, wanting to fly. It wasn't my first sleepless night, and I thought little of it. And then, you showed up, all of the sudden, at my door. You walked on in, despite my protests. I didn't want you there, I too upset to deal with you. But I gave up and let you sit down.  
  
You told me you saw. I was mad, at first. I had been so vulnerable, let myself be weak. Mad at myself, mad at you for seeing. So I cried. Then, you held me. Accually held me. I have not been held for years. Told me I was beautiful. Beautiful? I cried harder, you took it back. You let go suddenly, akwardly. I grasped onto your hand as you pulled away, with some despiration. I suddenly wanted you to stay. I still wonder if you would have loved me, just until morning. I wonder if you did.  
  
(Zim)  
  
I said you were beautiful. That wasn't fair. I regreted saying it when your tears came faster, and I let go. I don't even know why I said it, after I had told myself many times that I did not think it. But you grabbed on to my hand. You began to hold me, tightly, desperatly, as though the wind might blow me away. It wouldn't be smart of me to say I had no choice at that point. Maybe what I did was for the best. You made me want to stay. I wanted to just hold you back, until we could just forget about everything. But instead, I ran.  
  
(Dib)  
  
My grip on your hand didn't cease, and I suddenly embraced you. It didn't make sence. I don't think I should have even trusted you. Maybe I just needed a reason to live. Was I using you? I'm not sure. It didn't matter though, because then you jerked away, and ran.  
  
So now you are back again. It has been almost two years, and we have not talked since that night. I don't know why you are back. But I walk over to you. You stay there, unmoving. Why are you back?  
  
(Zim)  
  
So now I am back again. Standing at your doorstep. It has been one and a half years years, and you are fifteen. I have not spoken to you since. Not really. I don't know what to say. It is late again, and still it has been to long to care. You told me that night this wasn't a world worth saving. Maybe you were right, but for now…I can hold you till we can't see that. 


	4. Ribbons of the Flag

A dramatic twist. o.O Tell me how you like it. Mostly from Dib's point of view, but there are a few times it switches. You'll have to guess.  
  
"You've never really know  
  
That when the white flag is flown  
  
No one, no one, no one has  
  
Won the war."  
  
~"The Flag," Barenaked Ladies  
  
  
  
How did we get here?  
  
Oh yes. It started after the night you came back. You greeted me at my doorstep with an unexpected and sudden embrace. There was little moonlight, so I could just barely make out your silhouette against the darkness of the night. I never expected you to come back, not after the two years where we never talked. I wanted to ask you how you were, did you still want to take over the world, were you still the same? But you didn't seem to want to talk. You were holding me as though it would make everything else in the world go away. We stood out there a little while, just like that. That was our little white flag between us, the truce to our war. And that's all we needed.  
  
Now, it's just you and I, alone it the park. Me and a gun, aimed at your head. You're trying to destroy the human race. How could this happen? Should I even stop you? I think you want me to kill you. If you go back to your home planet, they'll kill you anyway, or so you tell me. I think again of the night you came back to me. You just held me, and, just for one moment, we didn't have to live in a world like this. Now you begin to walk toward me, a slow death march. I know you aren't human, and your heart is not human either. Born and raised on a different planet, where nothing matters but the mission. But I am human. Just a pathetic, selfish human. How could we ever understand each other, in a world like this? I miss those nights, childish and lost in our own world. It's a cold jerk into reality, and my finger quivers on the trigger. I don't want you dead. You stop walking, five inches away. Close your eyes.  
  
*BAM*  
  
  
  
You fall, immediately after the shot pierces the hallow air. What? I catch you, tears and blood flowing freely between us.  
  
That shot was not intended for you. You blink dull brown eyes at me, your face framed by jet black hair and crimson blood, and smile. A soft whisper, "I love you…"  
  
  
  
Mother…am I flying? I've always wanted to fly. Over the stars. No…just falling. I always knew I would. Who will catch me?  
  
  
  
/We sit together, looking up at the stars and saying nothing. Wasted our youth, even though there wasn't really much to waste. Life all feels like a prison, and maybe after death is when we'll be free. But not now. Now, all we can do is watch the stars and wait for times like these, where we are together, and wait for life to end, where we always will be. I could tell you I love you, but is there is little point . Now there is nothing between us but unsaid words. They are miserable little worlds, the ones you and I are so attached to. But with you, even if you go home and never come back, even if you die and there is nothing left but my memories, you make it a world worth living in. And I will always fly./ 


End file.
